24

I’m 24 years old and I still live with my adorable family. It’s terrible. The very obvious reason for this is that I live in the Philippines. In The Philippines where it’s not even funny if a 30 year old adult male still lives with the parents. Pinoys do not find movies like Stepbrothers funny. 

I pulled a stunt last September. I very prematurely moved out. I had zero savings and zero prospects. I have a job that pays okay but it’s not enough. I was also (excuse me for the corniness of the phrase) an emotionally unstable boy. By ‘emotionally unstable’, I mean I get sad very fast and all the beer I consumed did Not do shit. 

I moved in with free-spirited, very humorous yuppie types. We were three guys in a single-bedroom Makati condo situated in Dela Rosa corner Skank. I liked the guys sufficiently but it gets a little problematic when you live in Dela Rosa corner Skank, highlight Skank. But more than the skankiness of the situation, it was the lack of funds that brought me back “Home”. I was broke and unhappy when I moved out so it was obviously an ugly move. A very ugly and embarrassing move from an amateur decision-maker.

I think of that event as an experience that’s very much worth the 15k I paid. The 15k which I could have spent on my dentures because I have an ugly set.

Needless to say, I got smart. It’s still not so good at home but I’ll try not to unleash my inner Jack Torrance while I’m still residing at “Home”. Pero mababaw pa ren ako. Di ako magmo-move out hangga’t wala ng mga ‘to sa bago kong place: 

• TV
• Stereo
• Coffee-maker
• Washing machine
• AC

This is just minimum. But anyway.

All you need to know about my adorable family is that it’s a hugely retarded and motherless family. I’d provide background and describe in excruciating detail the retardation of each and every single member but I might feel guilty later on. I might. But know this: It’s a hugely retarded and motherless family. So I grabbed the very first opportunity to get the hell out.

But I have to move out. And I’ll move out, I just need the timing to be super perfect. I’d also have to make sure I avoid corporate cruelty casualty. I don’t love my job and I don’t think I’d ever love a job because it’s work and work in whatever form can never be that lovable. But I like it enough to want to keep it. If I lose it, I will have to migrate to Nueva Ecija. Still in Luzon, still in The Philippines but I would at least be hundreds of miles away from my family which, you know, I just love.

Short & sweet

Hello.

Truth be told, I have no business posting shit again. So I’m sorry if you don’t like the sound of me already. I really seriously wanted to avoid having to create a newly and hastily manufactured and self-perceivably well thought of online personality. It could only result in eventual humiliation. But I’m very mainstream so this shouldn’t be surprising.

Posting shit online should never be done by me. But the lure of doing it, the posting of shit, is undeniable. When you’re in your 20s and a little messed up, no one can have that much right to be the boss of you and dictate what you can and can’t say even if you’re mostly all about the shit. Shit, by the way, is one of my favorite words. It’s an all around word that can substitute just about any word that you don’t feel like using. It’s not too pleasant but it works for me. I have lots of those to say.

I should come up with a better introduction than this. Blogging is, after all, all about the popularity now, I know that. I also know that punctuating your thoughts with a million commas, before you ever make one cohesive thought is, in my warped opinion, all the rage.

I also know that there’s no wronger way to say start a blog than to start one with a post that is really all about a person who you truly like but who is in Serbia or Indochina and can’t be with you. I originally wanted to do that but I will be fiercely loathed if I do, so no.

Detailing fondness for the word shit hardly qualifies as an introduction but that’s it. I’ve been here. You might recognize me just from the number of times that I use the favorite word and several of its pals. I’ve been here before. I really have. It’s just that I recently turned decent and decided that being known by the people you say shit about is not nice. It’s a little inhibiting and corny. One should be very, very free when saying shit about things and people.

I once tried valiantly to be uncaring about comments but it’s a little depressing, not getting them. So I might soon be kissing blogger-asses just to get hits because I’m 24 and already so wise. Wise enough to know that blogging is not unlike engaging in phony conversations with a bunch of other yahoos who have limited aims in life, one of which is getting God Damned comments.

I sound so unfriendly but really, I’m nicer than this. Give me a fucking chance and I’ll prove it.